As you all know...
I've been in Mexico for the last month now, participating in an intense Bible Core Course, Studying the bible is my one and only job these three months. (And its WONDERFUL.) At the end of my school, we are heading out on a missions trip to Israel. We will be working with some ministries there, pouring into messianic Rabi's, as well as touring the city and surrounding areas, walking where Jesus walked, seeing what Jesus saw. I need your help. I need to raise 1500$ by May 25th. Yes. That is 9 days. That just covers airfare. I'll need about 1500$ more after that to pay for the rest of the trip. If you want to chip in; heres the link again for giving online http://www.ywamsandiegobaja.org/donationsandpayments/ and click student payments, My school is the 2015 April Ensenada BCC Otherwise my address for mail is: Toryanna DeYoung YWAM SDB 100 W 35TH ST STE R NATIONAL CITY, CA 91950-7925 United States Thank you so much in advance for your support and your prayers.
0 Comments
Let GOD be GOD.
Let Him judge in favor of Grace, in favor of Mercy. Let Him judge in favor of Love in the face of sin. Let Him sit on the Throne, and let Him not ask twice for it. Let Him hold that which He created. SPEAK NOT oh my soul, but Receive and Be Still. Oh My Soul, Be anchored in the GOD OF AGES. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> When you have deliberately walked in disobedience.... It hurts! It hurts me, because it is never my heart to go against God like that. There is a difference between sinning out of insecurity, and brokenness... and deliberately choosing to walk the opposite direction of God has spoken, knowing he's good, knowing what you've been called to, knowing the consequences. I've abdicated the throne that God has given me as a child of The King. [Oww Papa! When can I stop sinning?] Reading Samuel/Kings these last two weeks, I see the way that the Lord's favor on Saul was taken from him, after one sin because of his fear of man. I see the way that David was fixed on God's burning, passionate eyes, and did not look to the right or to the left. The weight of the favor of the Lord on his shoulders- absolutely incomparable! I watch the way Solomon started off so well, and God blessed him, yet his gradual little tiny steps down the slope; his reign ended terribly....It all rotates on the axis of obedience. YET- I had the audacity to try it myself. And it hurt. And I hated it. A lot. It left me tangled. And unsure. And frustrated. I knew that God loved me. I knew that he'd already forgiven me. I knew he hadn't 'taken his favor from me', but I was just mad. Mad because I knew. I knew that I had walked all over him, grieved him. I knew that I had in that moment, thrown away all the good things he had for me. I knew that I hadn't listened, and had turned my back. And I hated that. It hurt me so terribly bad. I felt Him come near to me, to love me I suppose. I knew that deep inside that's what I needed, the way that all a toddler wants to know, after receiving discipline, is that Daddy still loves them. That Mommy hasn't walked away. But I pushed Him away, saying " I know you love me, but I hate that I did this again, I want to let this hurt." He said, "Child. I see your tears. I know it hurts you. It should. It hurts me. But don't take this too far. Don't take my throne in your heart. You don't judge you, I do. Let me judge. Am I God? This isn't a matter of emotion anymore, this is a matter of fact. I judge you. And what I say goes, because I AM WHO I AM. Do I not know? Have I not been? My judgment is sound. I have freed you, don't chose to live in pain and bondage." I realized that week, that I can't hear God when I feel guilty. Why. Because I don't love me when I've done something wrong. I don't love me when I feel guilty. How then, if I don't love me, could anyone else, let alone God. I judge myself dirty. I judge myself guilty. I judge myself unworthy. {Can you imagine.... A small child, doing something naughty, receiving discipline, and then refusing to be comforted? Turning away from a hug, tears streaming down their chubby cheeks, insisting on staying in time out, away from the other children because they were guilty of doing something wrong?} Am I on the throne to judge? [Let Him judge in favor of Love in the face of sin. Let Him sit on the throne, and let Him not ask twice for it.] |