I've been home for 5 months now, and I haven't really posted a whole lot since being here, so here's an update! Right when I got home to the States, (August 5, to be exact) I stayed overnight one night at my friend Moriah's house, and then we immediately road tripped to Canada, for a mini DTS reunion. We visited our friend Courtney and got drenched at Niagara Falls! Passport stamps are starting to make a dent on those empty longing pages! About a week after that, in later August, my close friend Jaim moved to MI from Maine! Moriah and I met her in Mexico during DTS, and now we all live together at Moriah's house. Around that time, somehow a whole bunch of YWAMers were in the area, so we hosted a pretty large Welcome Home worship night. (Upwards of 50 people!) We had a fantastic group of YWAMer's from our base in Ensenada, and friends and family from home all in our backyard, and it was wonderful! Moriah and I spoke a little bit on the biggest things we'd learned in YWAM and I talked a bit about Israel, and of course, the music went late into the night. New friends and old friends, and family combined, reunions all around. August was a whirlwind of a month, and to top it all off, I traveled with my family up to the Upper Peninsula to Pictured Rocks, and we camped there over Labor Day weekend. It was stunning, and exceptionally warm. I didn't even know such a place existed in MI, but I am looking forward to hiking the UP at some point. We explored trails, and looked on the beaches for beautiful stones. Into September and October, my Momma and I got a really special opportunity to share some of our story with Alpha Women's Center, as they celebrated their 30th anniversary. What a testimony of God's grace and faithfulness... Another cool faithfulness move God pulled: At the end of October He let me go back and staff a youth retreat that rocked my life two years in a row in high school. Cloud9 was where I first was completely ravished by the love of God, where He overwhelmed me and made Himself known. I wasn't able to go for the two years after that because of sports, and then of course, being out of the country...and now God brings it back around to allow me one more time and as it turned out- this year's was the last Cloud9 retreat...ever. Our speaker was Lauren Befus, and she brought it- speaking on letting our hearts be the color God created them to be, and giving him the hard things that teach us to mask ourselves. It is such a beautiful thing to watch God dance upon the hearts of his passionate ones. To watch him unlock the young hearts so in need of direction and the comforting knowledge that they are important, accepted, and unconditionally loved. I was asked to teach some workshops as well, and when praying over them, God laid that exact theme on my heart, and I hadn't known the theme of the weekend yet. Whatever He is, He is relentlessly. \/ \/ Jaim keeping the food line under control! I've been waitressing at Arnie's in Rockford, and picking up side/babysitting jobs, working to save as much money as possible. I have spent the last year with 0$ to my name, so I am really starting from ground zero. Moriah's family has absolutely been the biggest blessing in letting Jaim and I stay there for free, and feeding us and doing our laundry. If you know them, bless them. It's definitely a humbling position to be in, receiving like this. All I want is to pay them back for what they do but I physically and literally can. not. [Welcome to life with Jesus]. I am planning on taking online classes this summer from the Community College, and I am still looking for a car. I'll be honest; it's difficult. It has been the biggest culture shock coming back from the mission field, not as much in regards to physical location but as in regards to heart position. It's difficult to make old mistakes again that were dissolved in the saturated world of missions, and not feel like it's all gone down the toilet. To feel the sin creeping back in, and to choose not to even give it the time of day, to stare a Jesus' s face and not to turn away. To trust that your eyes direct your feet and closer to Jesus is farther from sin. It's difficult to know how to navigate the unsafe, out-in-the-open aspect of leaving your heart vulnerable in the 'real world' instead of throwing up all the walls up that you just spent the last year thrashing down. New concepts like- now that I've been healed from past pain, how is the healthy way to deal with new pain? How do I gracefully do it from a place of rest, of truth, of peace, and of shelter? And- I just came out of a season of being completely dependent on God financially, and really for everything, now being in a culture of self glorification and gratification, general worry and self security...what. how. why? I don't even want those things back...but they creep and seep, and at no point is it acceptable to be needy here...It's a bit overwhelming. I flailed, a lot. I'm still flailing. But we're going forward. Right after Christmas this year, and through New Years, Jesus gave me a rested breath. I went to OneThing Conference in Kansas City with a few YWAM friends, and it was like a re-dunking. 3 times a day 14,000 of us worshipped together in a convention center. Speakers who spoke biblical truth about the cost of following Jesus, suffering, abiding in the Lord, trusting our Father...it was a re-dunking in a saturated environment. An environment of solid foundation. It's not a mountain top experience to me anymore. It used to be, but now its the expectation, now it's my standard. I am going to cling to God as much as I choose to. As much as I choose to put him first, to put him highest, to make him the Only, to this extent will I find him my only, will I find him my truth, will I find him my comfort and shelter. It is a choice, because in my life, I have tasted, I have known, I have seen his heart, his goodness, his mercy and grace...and I know that nothing else compares. I know that in all the things that I think I want, I want Jesus. So we're going forward. And the standard is set. Looking forward into this coming year, big goals are to get a car, and some college classes under my belt.
I will be in Texas for a week at the end of January, and after that the next time I'll be leaving will be August. I have a wedding on the west coast to be at for sure, but the plan after that is to get back out on the missions field. Tentative plans are to be with YWAM again, this time hopefully in India or Thailand. Possibly Africa. I haven't begun fund raising yet, as I have yet to solidify exactly my plans, but expect updates soon enough! In the mean time I'll be around here in the GRAP area, home for this season. IF you still haven't been updated on my Israel trip, and you would like to be, keep scrolling down, there is a long update post.
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